this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
