Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
