Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
