Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
