"it" just moved
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
