great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
