what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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