I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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