Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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