I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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