It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
