Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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