Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
