shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
