Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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