I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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