Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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