Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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