farters have to be the big spoon...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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