A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
