Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
