the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Buhtt sex?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
