I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
