So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize