the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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