East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Randomize
