i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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