New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
