With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
