Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize