My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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