Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
