It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize