His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
