idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
