Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
