Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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