sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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