You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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