Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
