thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
