Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just invented taco cereal.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
