i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
