We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
