i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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