Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
