So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
