Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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