Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
