kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
