Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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