Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
