if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize