i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Shame is for Republicans.
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