I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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