We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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