Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Barsexuality is the new black.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We left the knife in your bed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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