I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
either way he was missing a nipple.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
wow bdsm is so cute
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
