I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Drake has all the answers
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
