Whod you bang
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
