I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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