Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
