i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize