And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize