I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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