how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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