Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
